Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to make a zoo with you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
