Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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