you traded sex for a burrito?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
