so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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