you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
