Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
