my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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