fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
