he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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