I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
