He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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