I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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