So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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