The maid of honor just puked.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
