I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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