My first STD was from a foam party
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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