Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize