i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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