...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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