no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
