i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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