I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
