Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Bring me that man meat
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
