Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
