Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
