Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
