I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
