I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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