I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
