opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
