i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think my moral compass just broke
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
