does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I believe in your delicious
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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