Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
