I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
