the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.