He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing