It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.