I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
50% drunk capacity currently
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
