After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
