Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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