I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize