If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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