i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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