just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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