I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
