I'm jealous of your bromance
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dignity is for republicans.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
