sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
