bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
