Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
