But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
