I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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