I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
worst night to have a conscience
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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