So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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