wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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