can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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