ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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