I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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