I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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