You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
