Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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