Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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