THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize