fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize