ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
