No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
