But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
