is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
