she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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